Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
