I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
