but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
