dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
