my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Randomize
