YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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