i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
