Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i came on her dog
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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