so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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