I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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