I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
