we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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