I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
