you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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