I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
