she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize