Someone shit on the floor
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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