My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
