you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
