I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
