i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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