i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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