I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So many bounce houses so little time
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
