If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize