i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
