Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
