Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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