What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
