He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
