It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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