I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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