oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
