i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
and you said cock pushups were impossible
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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