i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
