God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There was a lot of him and a little penis
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
