listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
