dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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