dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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