How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
