You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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