It's just like the Real World with babies
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
