sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize