Duck Duck Cougar?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
