Whod you bang
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
