I think my fart just growled at me.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
