It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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