Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
