Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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