Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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