Ambien. No doubt about it.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
